1. |
Internet Drugs
03:26
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I buy drugs on the internet
put my name and address in the box
I ain't slept since
it's cheaper than the guy who knows the guy
I knew in high school
purer than the girl lifeguarding
higher than god at the public pool
I dont know that I like
the blood burst circles round my eyes
and I know I hate spending my mornings
paying back the night
but I do it just to glimpse the frowning
floating face of God in the hall
saying remember my child
you are as beautiful as you are small
I do it so that when the rope breaks
somewhere on I -80
and sends logs tumbling out of a truck
down and down on top of me
I will have known to be simple
I will have known to be clean
I will be small and beautiful when they find me
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2. |
Can't Dance
02:39
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Mom says: write something danceable
like there's nothing to my discomfort
that'll make me valuable
peel me back
to my unsettled core
I am the bag of salt and shadow
hung out back of your door
Can't dance to this.
Can't dance with me.
Can't move under the fear
I am everything that I seem
Can't dance to this.
Can't dance with me.
And there is nothing I could ever do
about the way I kick in my sleep
Like the way that when I drink
I pay close attention to my hands
and the way that when I smoke
I feel the sharpness on my loose ends
and the way my knuckles bulge
yeah there's a rippling in the vein
I am opposable
I am so well constructed
I am selfish all the same
And I notice now
the way I'm watching my fingers weave together
and I know it's high time
I get out of this chair and I leave
before I do something
I know I'll regret
but I stumble slipping on my shoes
and you pull me down to the bed
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3. |
Corner Booth
04:18
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She's not much for hardcore
I'm not into speed
but we're at a corner booth
with the same secret needs
and we're a couple of three beers deep
she's asking what I like to read
and then we're leaving to walk and talk
someplace that no one else can see
before I know I'm saying
I wanna be the kind of guy who sleeps through the night
I wanna shut my eyes and keep my windows open wide
oh there's no way she's saying you'll ever sleep that tight
I can already tell you got something sharp shaking loose inside
And then it's the time of night to get to talking about God
she says you know I done the sinning
just not the getting caught
you know I'm not religious
not even a bit
but I'd like to know that when I go
if there's a candle for me
someone will keep it lit
we get to her place
she asks me inside
and I think of your smile and say
maybe not tonight
I'm walking away
she says you call me when you change your mind
and I think of your hand in mine and say you know what
I just might
I just might
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4. |
Maybe You Should
03:31
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Catching up with my first time friends
we sit around and say
hey do you remember when
ain't it funny the way things change
saying I was seventeen back then
and drunker than I've ever been
I said I loved you
I'd say I love you
but I think I really meant it then
don't talk about it
let's don't talk about it
let's talk about the weather
february has always been the same
don't ever change don't ever change
the gray could last forever
then we get to talking and she says
no I don't I don't do that anymore
I don't drink natty ice
and I don't drink adderall
I don't call my grandma
I don't do anything at all
she says here's the thing
I'm in love, man
and life just aint worth it without her
No I don't call my dad man
that shit's just not worth it anymore
there's things I know about leaving
from the way that his hands shook
take a little drink in the evenings
the cracks are there if you're looking so
remember, just don't look
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5. |
Nice Collared Shirt
02:40
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put on a nice collared shirt
get your ass to church
put on a nice collared shirt
get your ass to church
I tried hard not to let it in
but AM hands are circled in my brain
they're coming for me and they're coming for you
the radio says that we're not the same
when the war comes
I will not be afraid
but I will do what I have to to make it through the days
and when the war comes
I will be deep underground
I will be ready
digging down down down
put on a nice collared shirt
get your ass to church
put on a nice collared shirt
get your ass to church
if you won't do it for Jesus
do it for me
and if it all shakes out the way you like it
there'll be nothing there to believe
I need new blood
stark naked new love
but I wan't nothing to do with it
I need new blood
break even new drugs
and I want nothing to do with it
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6. |
Act Right
03:51
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At the edge of the party
and the end of the night
she's saying no to the little things
to make sure he'll act right
just like her mama taught her
the day she turned fifteen
just like the things she'll teach her daughter
that she hopes
she hopes she'll never need
and of course she's shaking her head
and of course he's smiling yes
but she can feel the way his hand gets tighter
and her skin rubs raw inside her dress
and she knows, if he knew
why she's walking away he'd feel ashamed
but mama said child when it comes to nice boys
it pays, it pays, it pays to be afraid
One of these days we're gonna want something more
than wrapping ourselves in our parents' words
behind closed doors
saying:
no one in the world can hurt you
no one in the world can hurt you
no one in the world can hurt you now
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7. |
Quitting
04:32
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Gonna put my hands down the sink
one of these days
flip on the disposal
let it tear my flesh away
oh, poor boy
what an awful piece of luck
if I'm bleeding out my fingertips
no one'll say that I gave up
Gonna take my guitar to the pawn shop
get as much as I can take
hello ninety dollars
goobye old friend, goodbye to the shame
and everything that means nothing now
I'll burn out in the yard
turn my back and start walking
god knows, god knows
I'm not going far
so maybe hold me down
maybe freak me out
maybe bring me close
and I can go out to face the crowd
so maybe hold me down
maybe freak me out
maybe bring me to the light
and I can come clean about the night
Oh, I quit
I'm giving up
it's plain to see
it'll always be
I will never be enough
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